The Invisible Workload Of Motherhood Is Killing Me

This is oh so terribly familiar…




So there I am, standing in a hall full of up to 220 parents and children, doing the whole supervisory thing, looking professional and listening to the presenting speaker of the hour and low and behold my mind starts to drift and ‘bang‘! I have a realisation. I think I am a ‘frustrated design freak‘. Yep, instead of doing what I do on a normal basis, working in education doing the whole academic thing, I really ought to be doing something along the lines of design, probably fashion. How do I know? Well consider this. Instead of thinking about the next morning’s duties, I am busy thinking about what shoes my feet will sit in for the day, how my hair can be motioned into a specific tress and how I will combine an array of unusual colours for the next day. I literally, spend time dressing and undressing myself in colour and clothing combinations. I then pursue getting excited by the thought of trying out something new, perhaps a new hair do or a new but ‘old’ [as in something in my wardrobe since the year 1914 BC!] garment mixed with another of my ‘deep in the wardrobe’ gems which I frantically search for, like a mad and rushed mother in the sales at Primark!

You know the ones, those that throw the clothes behind them without a care in the world about who is standing in line to look through the pile of mark-downs next.

Well, this is what happened, in the midst of the parent information eveinng, I began to visualise myself designing outfits and putting together ideas for a style wardrobe for others – and myself of course – and it literally made  me smile in the middle of this event. I was away, I could not longer hear the speaker of the hour and it felt so good to visualise this. All my life, I have toyed with creative ventures, why did it take me so long to realise this? So hold on, has my journey so far been a mistake? Did I go down the wrong path? NO way! Some of this of course is not down to choice as being of African heritage, the thought of pursuing my music career (which I also had a period of time in by the way), or saying “dad I want to make clothes”  or “become a fashion designer” would probably have been met with a response like ” what for?” instead the luxurious sounds of ” I want to be a teacher, accountant, doctor or other highly acclaimed, academic venture” would have been more pleasing to his ear and to the nature of the heritage I claim and so naturally, I followed such paths only looking at the creative aspects as ‘adventures’, ‘gifts of enjoyment’ and hobbies.


Learning never stops and so I’ve thought, once I get to a point in this journey, next stop for me is… design… I can learn again or even enhance what I already do…fulfill my desire to get those stored up creative juices flowing.  I figure I can then look to  retire on a creative note and still leave a lasting legacy with others I share my creative passions with. How about you? What’s your burning passion or have you had an epiphany moment recently?

and today’s lesson is……..Patience

patience allows lifetime

As I washed out a bottle today, I learnt something new about patience.Ironic as my Ghanaian name is apparently translated to mean ‘patience‘…. a virtue I often display contrary to as I am sure many of us all do…

I realised that after filling it with some soap that the bubbles would take ages to rinse out and I was in a hurry to get them out. I began filling the bottle, not waiting until it became filled and then hurriedly throwing the water out and the bubbles did not disappear any faster. Suddenly I became conscious of my posture and my body and my thinking. I was being impatient, I slowed down and decided to WAIT until the bottle filled up fully and in so doing, realised the tranquility and peace of pace I felt, my shoulders came down, my hands moved more slowly, I felt a moment in time was longer and even the bubbles rising to the top seemed to be enjoying themselves, bobbing to the top to say “hello” until they lost their energy and became the trickles that fell into the sink as the bottle overflowed.

“Why am I rushing to rinse out a bottle? Is this what the Western lifestyle has become?”, ” No, not if I don’t let it”. But more importantly, i recognise that impatient feeling in many things I do and yet I came to the conclusion that allowing a more relaxed approach to the time taken, had more benefits – in the end the soap suds cleared perfectly, no chance of poisoning myself with a dose of ‘fairy liquid’ and I wasn’t even going to use it straight away! By filling it up, it probably got rid of the concentrated liquid even quicker anyway. And, I was going about my business without ‘hurry’, one of today’s pests in the time zone.

So here’s to patience, because with it we gain a lifetime.

I also found this article as I looked for an image to supplement my thought for today. What are your top tips for being patient?

Practicing Patience: 20 Ways to Be More Patient

Say ‘yes’

Today I give thanks and want to open up myself to the positives and blessings in life. For me to do this, I will begin by physically nodding, yes, nodding, noting how it feels. It feels like acceptance. It makes me smile, like a stream my smile flows into a laugh… Wow… The power of ‘yes’. I am not a ‘no’ person. Anything today I can handle it, by just saying ‘yes’. Even challenges, yes, and I’ll ‘say thanks for the challenge, what is my learning here? Do I want to know, learn and grow..? YES.
But wait, just for today? What’s the point in that? I hear you say. Well, all actions begin with the number ONE. One person to make a change, one action from day one.
Today is my day ONE of saying ‘yes’.


Write it!


You write because you have an idea in your mind that feels so genuine, so important, so true. And yet, by the time this idea passes through the different filters of your mind, and into your hand, and onto the page or computer screen — it becomes distorted, and it’s been diminished. The writing you end up with is an approximation, if you’re lucky, of whatever it was you really wanted to say.

– Author Khaled Hosseini, “How to Write,” the Atlantic

“It is finished” said Jesus, John 19 v 30



Surely the aromas of fried fish, steamed fish, callalou, ackee, steamed or boiled dumpling, fried plantain perhaps even turned cornmeal seasoned up nicely are wafting out of various kitchens of homes with a Caribbean heritage or influence. Such is the tradition.
If you have never tried it… It is definitely a dis you need to have in your lifetime.

For everyone who shares this tradition and honours the Saviour’s last few words in remembrance, I share with you the phrase “It is finished” to signify your faith in him leads to the end of any negativities if you believe, He came, He taught, He conquered and to assure us he stated that the will of His father has been done….. All for our sakes.